Fullmetal Mediocrity

A surprisingly awful show with a cast of ridiculously unlikable characters. I am frankly stunned that this is considered a Battle-Shonen masterpiece and one of the best anime of its era. The Elric brothers are remarkably off-putting egoists outdone only by the terrible military drones that work alongside them and their awful childhood friend Winry, who is frankly unbearable and makes every episode she's in worse.

The entire series is bloated with unenjoyable filler which amounts to a different adventure every episode involving a villain of the week sponsored by the actual arch villain Lust. The conspiracy at the centre of the plot seems fairly uninteresting and it doesn't seem credible that this could have happened under the nose of a military dictatorship with an omnipresent leader without anybody noticing. I don't even want to hear what nonsensical excuse will be provided for this by the end of the series.

Furthermore the central mechanic at the heart of the show and repeated during the intro of every episode equivalent exchange is never actually adhered to. In combat alchemists of all stripes just blast each other with alchemical energy without providing any ammo or sacrifice which is in clear contradiction to other scenes where physical matter has to be transmuted to achieve any alchemical reaction. If you cannot observe the fundamental rule of alchemy you repeat like a mantra at the start of every episode then what is the point of introducing it as a central conceit and key mechanic?

The animation of this show was bad when it aired and has not aged gracefully. The sound design seems passable although I didn't like the VAs for the Elric brothers in the English dub and the voice actor for Nina Tucker actually made my skin crawl, so I was glad when she disappeared from proceedings.

I dropped this show more than halfway through because I couldn't stomach spending anymore time with sociopath Edward Elric or his special needs brother, Alphonse. I wasn't sure why I was supposed to be rooting for a guy that has joined a military junta which committed numerous documented crimes against humanity and attempted to genocide the Ishbalan people for little to no apparent reason. Why would I be cheering for people that voluntarily sign up to a genocidal military dictatorship that is prepared to sacrifice and kill its own personnel while inflicting heinous acts of violence and death against its own population with clinical disregard?

The fundamental mechanics behind the sorcery that is alchemy are not even adhered to despite being repeated like a mantra every single episode.

The animation was awful when this aired and it looks even worse today.

Some embarrassingly bad English dubbing with some cringe-worthy voice acting performances.

Probably the worse aspect of the show, neither of the Elric brothers is likable and none of the bureaucratic drones that work for the military dictatorship seem human. By the end of it all I was rooting for the villains to kill or maim the main cast.

I know this is a beloved anime for many people but I could not for the life of me enjoy it. I slogged on for 27 episodes to no avail. Hard pass from me.